Wednesday, February 1, 2012

In Memorium. Dominique Mainon 1970 - 2012

"What the Caterpiller Calls the End of the World the Master Calls a Butterfly"

My dear, sweet, lovable stepdaughter passed away peacefully at 1:30 AM on Wednesday, January 25th.

She was not only my stepdaughter, but a sister, a creative partner in crime, the person who always made me belly laugh, my best friend and my soul mate.  She was a writer, an artist, a photographer and a saint.  Most importantly, she was a Mother to her beloved Justice and Liam.

The last month of her life was spent in a nursing home close to her peaceful Joshua Tree Home.  The staff was truly loving, caring and supportive. I was overwhelmed with the sincerity and grace in which they performed their jobs. 

Dominique was surrounded by her immediate family and close friends.  Liam brought in his guitar and played for two solid hours one day.  Justice sang songs.  Artemis held her hand and meditated, visualizing Dominique forever in her heart.  Angela kissed and hugged her.  Wendy brought in Chinese food and made us all laugh with her fun stories.  Dominique's father, John, was able to get a signed copy of one of her books while she was still able to write. He told her how proud he was of her creative accomplishments.  Dominique's Mom got snowed in, so her planned trip from Washington did not occur.  I held the phone up to Dominque while her mother spoke her final goodbyes.  Kerry's calm presence reassured Dominique.  Uncle Howard kissed her cheek.  I held her hand, told her that I loved her and talked about so many of the wonderful memories we'd shared.

One of the bright spots was when Jessica brought in her Chihuahua, Victor Jose Snaggles.  Dominique said that she never liked small dogs.  But we know otherwise.  When we smuggled Victor in, her face lit up and she said "Give him to me"!  His curly little tail wagged furiously and he couldn't get enough of licking her face.

Dominique never lost her sense of humor.  Jessica and I were commenting on how we felt the need to hide Victor, as we didn't think pets were allowed.  Dominique's solution was, "Why don't you just tie a ribbon around him with a string and a helium balloon that says Get Well.  Everyone will think he's a stuffed animal"

As her final days approached, it became more difficult for her to communicate.  But I know she could hear everything we were saying, so we kept talking and loving her.   My mantra to her was "just let go"  That seems to be the toughest one for most as we (selfishly) don't want those we adore to leave.  She clutched onto a beautiful necklace that Justice had given her.  I told her to take it with her when she passed.  At one point she told us that she had a key to another room and that she was going to "walk over there and enter the room"  I know in my heart that she walked with grace into that room when she passed.  I know that she had the necklace with her when she did so.

The morning she passed, Liam came up with the idea for the family to go up to the observation deck of their desert home and celebrate the sunrise.  I will never foget the beauty of that morning.

The day after Dominique made her transition, Jessica was back in Laguna Beach, one of Dominque's sacred spots.  She lived in Laguna Beach for many years and always felt the creative energy of this place.  It's where she wrote all her books.  Jessica was taking photos of the sunset, thinking of Dominique and look at what appeared in the photo!  Jessica took several pictures, thinking that her finger was in the way, or that there was something wrong with the lens, but this red, orange, pink, orb kept showing up:

What's more, the orb has shown up in numerous subsequent photographs.  Dominique beleived in, and wrote about orbs and energetic entities.  The way I understand it, the soul, which never ceases to exist, summons energy from power sources, in this case the sun, and makes itself present.  Red and orange were her favorite colors.  The orb is even in the shape of a D.  How cool is that!

As for memorials:  Dominque requested that her ashes be taken to one of her favorite authors ranch in Taos, New Mexico.  It's the former home of D.H. Lawrence.  When she visited the home several years ago, she felt a strong connection and sense of peace.  We plan on making the trip as a family.  You can read about it here.

Jessica and Angela will take a portion of her ashes to a special spot in Laguna Beach.

I plan on making a several day solo trip out to Joshua Tree in the next couple of weeks to spread her ashes and perform a ceremony of my own.  I will be writing about it in the blog.  Dominque has inspired me to keep writing.

Justice and Liam are moving to Washington to live with Dominique's Aunt and Uncle as per her wishes.  All proceeds from Dominique's book royalties will go to Justice and Liam.  If you would like to pay it forward, you can order her books via the link to the right.  All writers (myself included) live for people to read their words.  So pass this along to everyone.  You will be delighted with the talent of Dominique's books.

Finally, I want to thank everyone who has shared kind words and love during this time.  It's what's getting me through the days.  If I haven't personally connected with you, I would like to take this time to sincerely thank you.  I love each and every one of you very much.

Our dear, sweet, witty, talented, lovable Dominique is now embraced by the light, surrounded by warmth and unconditional love.  To quote Dominique from one of her last blog entries relative to ghosts and life after death:

Maybe we do not die at all. If you look at a cloud, and how it produces rain, and the raindrop falls to the ground, and then evaporates and goes back up - do we say the raindrop is dead during each transference to a different element? It is all a cycle. Plants grow from seed, blossom, release many seeds, dye off and become fertilizer for other seeds to grow. So if there is life after death, I figure it is our children. They are part of us and they go on to live. That is more exciting than just an apparition bumping about forever in an old house.

Yes, my love, it's our children who carry the torch.  Justice and Liam - I am proud to be your Step Grand Ma.  Who knows?  I may even bake you cookies one day.


  1. I met Dominique and Aukai in 2007. I immediately became friends with Dominique.We hung out a lot at her Laguna Beach Pad, good times. I am so saddened to hear of her passing. I know she is in a better place now where there is no suffering. God Bless Dominique and her whole family.

  2. I came across Dominique's blog tonight while searching the internet for something so unrelated to her story. As I read her story, she amazed me. To feel a connection to someone I have never met isn't like me and that leads me to believe she was one special soul. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your post was beautiful.
    Christina Lutsch

  3. I'd read Cinema of Obsession and, on a whim, looked her up and was saddened to learn she died. I have been reading her blogs for most of the day. A talented and interesting writer.

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  5. The above deletion was a mistake. This is a re-write from my updated profile. Thank you Jen for writing an eloquent, fitting and thoughtful memorial to the most important person who ever came into my life. I've posted links to this site from my new one, and am encouraging my readership to visit, Much love to you and yours, -c